bring back common courtesy

He’s such a nice boy! She’s so polite! We all love to hear people say these comments about our kids. Common courtesies allow us to step out of ourselves for a moment and help make the world better for the person next to us. It’s the little ways we show our respect for each other—peers and authority figures alike.

Here are 3 easy steps to teach some basic common courtesies. Let the compliments pour in!

1. list
With your child, each make a list of all the things you’d love for people to do for you when you walk into a room, join a conversation or are looking for a place to sit at lunch. Include everything from opening doors to not chewing with a full mouth to inviting a new friend to read with you in the library. Select 3 things on this list that you think are easy enough to expect others to do for you. You know what’s next—commit to doing these very three things for a week yourself, as in you are doing these things for someone else without expecting anything in return. You’ll be amazed at what becomes habit!

2. microphone, please
Announce the common courtesy you are doing as you do it. For example, Here, let me get this snack wrapper off the floor for you, while picking up the trash for the individual who may not (or may!) know that it fell. Get double credit for your good deed—it feels good and your teaching the other person how to do it, too. You are paying the favor forward, next time this person will be more inclined to help you out.

3. see the invisible
We see hair color, clothes and behaviors, but what about the other parts that make each person unique? Use play-doh to mold a symbol which represents what you bring to a conversation. Are you the sports stats go-to person? Maybe you shaped a football to represent this. Are you more of a listener than a talker? You might have made an ear. Do this as a family and share what each person’s contribution to the group is. Finish with a brief discussion about how we all bring something special to the room, and without each one of us the room would not be the same. Take the conversation one step further and identify which strengths you see in others that you’d like to develop in yourself.