Seeing is believing...right?

Image via Wikipedia

Most of us rely on what we see as fact. It's there, it has to be true or so the logic goes. If seeing is believing, then how do we account for optical illusions? Like the one here to the left. Which orange dot is larger? Actually, they are the same size.

This same effect happens when we look at different people. Ever thought someone was larger than life or a shrinking violet? Same concept, different medium--people instead of dots.

We see the world though our own lens, our own filter. What lens do you choose for different situations? Do you scrutinize events under a microscope or keep your distance with a telescope? Have you ever purposefully donned rose-colored glasses when entering a meeting or felt as though you had binoculars that allowed you to see into the future before making a decision?

There's nothing wrong with wearing lenses, just be aware of which pair you put on!

Go out on a limb!

Image by MsPixie via Flickr

Don't wait until everything is perfect. If you wait for perfection, your idea, your dream will never see the light of day.

Yes, it's daunting. And yes, it has the potential to be embarassing. But it can also be liberating. Put yourself out there in the world. Some people will like what you have to say, you may even find new friendships in the process.

We hold ourselves back far too often in the name of...what? Fear. Fear is that dark unknown. Like little kids who won't walk into a dark bathroom, fear can be paralyzing. Flip the switch on and light your path.

Chase your dreams! The bigger the better. There will always be someone who tries to hold you back, but do it anyway. Someone will say that's silly, or don't waste you time on that. Smile, say thank you for your thoughts, and then keep moving forward. What do they know? What dreams have they shared? Have they ever gone out on a limb? I'd be willing to bet the answer is no. We dreamers are all part of this great club. One dreamer can see another a mile away. Converstaion goes off in tangents, ideas fly and the energy is electric.

There is nothing you can dream of that can't be done by human hands and knowledge. So make it yours! You want to write a book, be a model, start your own company, get a Ph.D.? Hundreds of people have done this before you, there's no reason you can't do it now. Find your tree and go out on a limb!

success at last!

Image via CrunchBase

I am now connected to Twitter. Whew! That was a process! Where this post may not be as long or detailed as the others, it represents just as much inspiration. It can be done! For all the networking we do online, it sure can be difficult to get all the networks to connect.

Facebook, you're next!

a chain reaction

Image by rustman via Flickr

This world does not work without friends. Someone to hang out with, to lean on, to ask questions, to go shopping with, to learn from…we all need friends. Studies have been done on happiness and the main factor in determining whether or not one will find happiness is whether or not the individual has any meaningful relationships—friends. You have an amazing network of people around you at all times.

Who are your friends? When was the last time you told them that you appreciated them? Stay connected. Don’t feel that you have to be joined at the hip. There is some truth in the saying good fences make good neighbors. Just make sure it’s a low, picket fence rather than the Great Wall of China. Connections can remain strong across continents and through the years. What is necessary is some sort of conscious thought about your friend. Keep that person in your heart and occasionally (or regularly!) pop in his or her life.

What could you do today to put a smile on your friend’s face? Yes, a giant gift would work, but let’s be reasonable! Can you squeeze in a five minute phone call? What about a “hi” note dropped in the mail. At the very least, switch over from this blog and send that friend an email consisting of a colon, dash and parentheses :-)

You will start a chain reaction of good feelings. Even better, it’s not like those emails where you fear the worst of you don’t forward it to 10 different people. You simply put the good vibes out into the world, hoping only for a smile in return.

The great thing about smiles is that they’re contagious. Once you start this chain of events, there’s no telling how many people will be touched. Next thing you know, the good vibes are coming right back at you, and another smile is on your face.

On a personal note: While I’m not resisting technology by any means, it does seem to go a little bit faster than I do. This blog is new. Without the help of a wonderful friend, it never would have happened. Thank you, Bob, for all your help! I couldn’t have done it without you :-)

Do you know what you're saying?

Image by fragmented via Flickr

We communicate all day, every day, whether we want to or not. It’s impossible not to. We send messages through words, numbers, facial expressions, tones, body language, behavior…the list is endless. What messages are you sending out?

Words: This on is a no-brainer, right? We all know what words come out of our mouth. Or do we? Sometimes when we are angry or frustrated we may say something we don’t mean. Words have power. Once they leave our lips they are no longer under our control.

Numbers: Vanity plates are a good example of this, 0260N4S (zero to sixty in four seconds), 10SNE1 (tennis anyone?). 143 (I love you) is signed on a lot of valentine cards, and we all know the “4-letter, 2-letter” word (shut up). Numbers do everything from balancing our checkbook to finding life on Mars to revealing our innermost thoughts.

Facial Expressions: Smile, frown, pout your lips, raise your eyebrows. Our face lets others in. Think about the events of your day. Try to place a feeling with an event. Once you are re-feeling the emotion, look in the mirror. Let’s say you were experiencing joy, what is your expression? Does your smile go all the way up to your eyes? Do you feel the joy in your ear muscles? Is your smile flashing your pearly whites? Do this for other feelings, too. Our emotions are written all over our faces.

Tones: Emails and texts are notorious for conveying the wrong tone—usually resulting in the sender having to explain that the last message sent was a joke and not an insult. Yes, an English teacher can help. They’ve been talking to you for years about the tone of passages. Word choice, style…it’s for more than just homework.

Body Language: Where are your feet pointed when you are talking to someone? Most of the time your feet give you away. Check to see if your toes are pointed at the door, a sign that you are done with this conversation and want to leave. If your shoulders, hips and feet are squared with the person your talking with, you are fully engaged in the conversation at hand. Sometimes men stand at a 45-degree angle to each other as a sign of open yet non-threatening communication.

Behavior: Your words say, “Thank you,” yet your hand grabs the C paper from the teacher. Hmmm…which message is it? Unfortunately, the negative one wins out and the teacher sends you to the office. “But I said thank you,” you plead. We’ve all heard that actions speak louder than words. Here it is in action.

Does your intent match the messages you’re sending? A little bit of awareness goes a long way. Have fun learning more about your personal style of communication!

find true friends

Why won't they play with me? They never talk about what I want to talk about!
A square peg won't fit into a round hole--a concept sometimes lost when trying to make friends. When a friendship is built on a false pretense (you pretend to like or be something just to get into the group), it's hard find true satisfaction. Here are 3 easy steps to find true friends who like you just the way you are!

1. examine your friendships
Maybe the crowd you're chasing in middle school is into the Twilight series but you just can't seem to get through the first chapter...put the book down. Step away from the book! What do you like--soccer? cooking? gymnastics? Stay true to who you are and hold out for friends with similar interests. They might be right under your nose, just waiting for you to join them!

2. move along
Let go of some of the past so you can grab hold of the future! Maybe you've always been that kid hanging on the fringe of the group. Worse, you're afraid if you let go of the fringe for fear you'll have nothing left to hold onto. Life is a risk. What if you let go only to find the friends you've been wanting all along, friends who like exactly who you are (rather than who you were trying to be)? Have faith in yourself, you can take this step.

3. spread your wings
Here you are, on your own. Now stretch your wings. Sign up for new activities, join clubs, eat at a new table. People are not scary or mean, they are just like you, looking for friends. Be true to yourself and let these new friends get to know the real you. You'll feel better about the connections you're making and they will know the real you.

should = judgement

Welcome!

We are flooded with shoulds. We get it from every direction. Our bosses, kids, friends, teachers, the grocery clerk scanning your basket full of candy, coffee and wine, they all have something to say about how we should be living our life. Believe it or not, the most damaging of these shoulds comes from a very familiar voice—our own!

Should = Judgment

There’s nothing wrong with judging ourselves. In fact, it’s an important part of life. We need to be able to assess situations, determine our feelings and thoughts, and express ourselves appropriately. This is a natural, internal process. However, sometimes what we want to show, say, or do doesn’t “pan out” the way we’d hoped. We’re left scratching our head wondering why on earth the other person reacted the way she did.

Hmmm…now what?

Who do you want to see?
How do you want to think?
What do you want to write?
Where do you want to be?

It's all within you! Stay tuned...