boost confidence

We all feel a little shaky at times. Here are three easy steps to help remember who you are and boost your confidence back up.

1. define
Self concept is how you define yourself. Don't get stuck in the past. You are not the chubby kid with braces and acne in 80s anymore! We change all the time but forget to update our personal definition. Who are you today? Think learning styles (how do you learn-having the material explained verbally, reading a book, walking thru the problem?), attitudes (are you an optimist or pessimist, are you open to new experiences or prefer routine?), social styles (are you more introverted or extroverted, do you like change or are you a creature of habit?) and creative styles (are you right or left brained, do you think outside of the box?).

2. feel
So you've defined yourself, but how do you feel about the list? Do you like who you are? Are there parts you'd like to change? Self esteem is the feeling we attach to our self concept. Perhaps you are an extrovert who would really like to learn how to find joy and entertainment in the quiet moments without relying on a room full of people. Or, perhaps you're a hands-on learner who is struggling with an online stats course offering only written explanations. Feeling bad about these circumstances won't change the circumstances. Change them! Get your feelings in line with your definition or vice versa. You want congruence. Maybe the online stats course was not for you--you're not dumb, you just learn differently and prefer an instructor to help you thru the problems, register for the inclass option next semester!

3. perceive
Perception is your personal reality. It is exactly the way you take in the world, but recognize that no one else will have your exact perception about anything. It all happens in your mind, based on past experiences trying to make sense of new experiences. Here's where you can take charge. Decide today how you would like to perceive yourself. Think: I am a smart student, I am an organized parent, I am a powerhouse of knowledge at work, I am confident. When you feel weak, repeat your new definitions of yourself, like a mantra. Start with the words, then live up to these words with your actions/definitions and the positive feelings will follow.