start a conversation

Walking into a room and joining a conversation can be scary at any age. Here are some tried-and-true tricks to get you confident and in the conversation.

1. prepare
What's your opening line? Yes, you are on stage. The audience is looking at you, waiting to see what you bring to the conversation. Don't get stuck with nothing to say. Pre-plan 3 topics you feel comfortable talking about AND that the group has some interest in talking about. Whether it's a 6th grade party (the science project due, what you think the field trip will be like, how fun the party is) or a workplace happy hour (last board meeting, new lunch place, recent acquisition), be sure to have some topics "in your pocket."

2. play the game
There's nothing worse than playing with someone who doesn't know the rules. Make sure you understand that there are rules to conversations. First off, it's a conversation, not a monologue--talk for more than 2 minutes without sharing the floor and it's no longer a conversation. Use eye contact so people know you are listening to what they are saying rather than simply planning what you want to say next. Ask questions and express an interest in the other person. It bears repeating: Conversation goes 2 ways.

3. leave 'em wanting more
Don't wait for the hook, or for someone to look at his watch, or worse yet, for someone to simply turn away. When you feel the conversation ending, sign off. Find another person to talk to or bring in another person to your group. This way you keep the discussion fresh and energizing--a great mix to keep people coming back for more.