stop doing your kids homework!

You've been to school. Surely you've said these very words to your child (repeatedly!) when in the midst of nightly homework arguments. Live up to it. Don't do their homework for them.

Parents doing homework is such a trend that many teachers require the bulk of written work to be completed in class or ask for a disclaimer the child signs saying that the above work is, in fact, the student's original work.

Here are 3 easy steps to get out of the habit of doing your child's homework.

1. know the difference
...between helping and doing. When your child complains that there are too many math problems, help with time management, chunking groups of 10 problems at a time with a treat at the end of each group. Don't say you do the first 10 multiplication problems and I'll do the second set of 10. If your child is stuck on a problem, the quick response is to just say the answer: 7x9=63 but the way to help is to remember the math strategies: Let's think about this, what's the highest multiple of 7 you know? Add 7 more to it and so on. Remember your goal here--you want your child to grow into a bright, confident, resourceful adult. The real world doesn't have people to do the work you don't want to do. It's a tough lesson, and there won't be smiles, but teach the tough stuff now. Can you imagine this behavior in an adult?

2. structure
Build the scaffolding around your child's work. For the afternoons, make a homework schedule and stick to it. Routine is comforting as everyone involved knows what to expect. TVs are off, cell phones in chargers and computer use is in common areas. If you have work you've brought home, now is a good time to do it, too. The message conveyed to your kids is that this house is one which respects hard work enough to reserve time each day to do just that.

3. be ok with the fall
As with anything, there will be ups and downs. The goal is for more ups than downs over the long haul. Let your kid know that you trust him/her enough to leave the schoolwork in his/her hands--that is until the school contacts you. As long as your child is managing, go with it. Responsibility is so hard to grasp (just read the newspaper for people who don't get it!), and your child is willing to try. Step back if a low grade or missed homework comes to your attention, ask your child what he/she plans on doing to remedy this situation. Try whatever is offered. By doing so, you're showing you have faith in your child's ability to handle things.