pencil in a family meeting

With busy schedules starting in Kindergarten and ending, well, never, how do you come together with the entire family on a regular basis? Pencil it in! Here are 3 easy steps to conduct family meetings in your house.

1. announce
Post the day, time, duration (20-30 minutes is plenty) and topic of the family meeting for at least 24 hours. While you may be ready to talk this instant, the 24-hour time delay will force you to think about your position and prepare ideas. For example: You've just put your dog down and now the hamster died. While your knee jerk response might be to gather the kids and go to the first pet store you see to replace the furry family members, sitting on the feelings for one day might allow time for alternative ideas (like researching pets and finding one that fits your apartment lifestyle better than a Great Dane).

2. conch
Establish what will be the conch--anything from a pencil to a trophy will do. The only way for a family member to talk is if he/she is holding the conch. Every idea is considered, everyone has a voice, no one is too young, too silly, too anything. Determine a pattern so the conch is shared equally (pass in a circle, raise hands, etc).

3. leave 'em wanting more
Be sure to end no later than the time you announced, and don't be afraid to end before then if the meeting has met its goal. You want to keep this meeting as part of your family life, right? Then don't re-hash details, or spend all your time on negativity (We have a problem with people leaving shoes everywhere, which reminds me, those shoes are full of dirt and stink! Who do you think has to clean...). Make sure to balance a concern with fun. After you discuss the distribution of chores for the week (short, maybe draw tasks out of a jar) spend time talking about a weekend family outing (who wants to go tubing at the spring on Saturday?). Always end on a good note and they will keep coming back for more.