make your kid behave in school

What parent hasn't heard this from a teacher: Little Johnny's behavior is unacceptable, please make sure he understands he has to follow directions while in my class.

Hmmm...how are you, the parent, supposed to make your child behave in class when you aren't even there? You're at work and your child is at school! Believe it or not, it is possible to have a lasting impression on your child--and have it translate to better classroom behavior. Here are 3 easy steps to show you how.



1. talk
Get the details from everyone involved. Each source will have a slightly different point of view--the teacher, your child, the administrator, the counselor. Put the pieces together and figure out what's what.


2. create
Create a game plan. Start small. Your child is rebelling, so a complete 180 isn't going to happen over night. Sit with your child, see his/her side, and ask what he/she thinks would be the easiest behavior to change first. Don't push for more than your child offers. Your child will test you (keep doing particular behavior, change this behavior but add new misbehaviors) to see if you really are willing to be a parent-child team. Once a problem behavior is singled out, let the school know specifically that your family is working on ______ (ex: not talking in class, arriving to class on time, respectful comments to teachers). Give your child time to experiment with his/her new rule-following behavior. Remember: this new compliance is unexpected in your child's social circles. One step at a time, and don't expect a full change over night, there will be setbacks along the way.


3. follow-up
Keep the conversation going with your child. Ask how things have changed, if teachers or friends have noticed new behaviors and how your child feels in class. Be sure to share with your child areas in your life that you may be working on as well. It will help your child tremendously to know that he/she is not the only one who has behaviors to improve. Keep the conversation going with the school, too. School's are happiest when parents partner with the school.