...enjoy your teen's hairstyle

Kids want long hair. Seems simple enough. Styles today have both boys and girls sporting tousled, windblown, effortless locks in every ad imaginable. BUT, all of us parents know there is no such thing as maintenance-free long hair! How do we find common ground between our child's independence and that messy head of tangled hair?

1. insist
You are the parent and, to quote other parents, "As long as you are under my roof, you'll live by my rules." Phrasing aside, this is the truth. You can insist on a short cut. However, you will have to weigh the perfectly coiffed photos against the very vocal unhappiness of your child (which you will hear daily, hourly!). Not to mention the fact that your child will probably figure out a way to un-style to short cut, too.

2. commit
Living in a family means helping everyone feel good about the family unit. The same way you don't pick your nose at the school play, your child doesn't need to walk around with a bird's nest on his/her head. What comes next will take a lot of work on your part, but commit to doing your child's long hair if he/she won't do it independently. Set an earlier alarm (your child's, that is), and grit your teeth while he/she squirms and screams that you're pulling every strand out/the brush is to rough/dryer is too hot/etc. Hang in there! Your child will test you on the "commit" technique (emerge from the bathroom at the last minute with that same messy head). Eventually your child will surprise you at the breakfast table with a perfect head of hair.

3. let go
When all else fails, simply let go. Your relationship with your child is worth more than an argument over hair. Natural consequences will fall into place: dating will take a hit, school will call if hair is in eyes, friends will laugh...these are not punishments, just natural results of not keeping up with personal hygiene. Letting go is the best of both worlds. The fight is gone, no need for arguments about who's controlling whom. You've allowed your child the space to grow, feel the consequences of a choice, and then determine who he/she wants to be.

This was a question asked by Gennyfer Hanvey on Twitter. Thanks, Gennyfer, for letting me answer it on my blog!