Do you know what you're saying?

Image by fragmented via Flickr

We communicate all day, every day, whether we want to or not. It’s impossible not to. We send messages through words, numbers, facial expressions, tones, body language, behavior…the list is endless. What messages are you sending out?

Words: This on is a no-brainer, right? We all know what words come out of our mouth. Or do we? Sometimes when we are angry or frustrated we may say something we don’t mean. Words have power. Once they leave our lips they are no longer under our control.

Numbers: Vanity plates are a good example of this, 0260N4S (zero to sixty in four seconds), 10SNE1 (tennis anyone?). 143 (I love you) is signed on a lot of valentine cards, and we all know the “4-letter, 2-letter” word (shut up). Numbers do everything from balancing our checkbook to finding life on Mars to revealing our innermost thoughts.

Facial Expressions: Smile, frown, pout your lips, raise your eyebrows. Our face lets others in. Think about the events of your day. Try to place a feeling with an event. Once you are re-feeling the emotion, look in the mirror. Let’s say you were experiencing joy, what is your expression? Does your smile go all the way up to your eyes? Do you feel the joy in your ear muscles? Is your smile flashing your pearly whites? Do this for other feelings, too. Our emotions are written all over our faces.

Tones: Emails and texts are notorious for conveying the wrong tone—usually resulting in the sender having to explain that the last message sent was a joke and not an insult. Yes, an English teacher can help. They’ve been talking to you for years about the tone of passages. Word choice, style…it’s for more than just homework.

Body Language: Where are your feet pointed when you are talking to someone? Most of the time your feet give you away. Check to see if your toes are pointed at the door, a sign that you are done with this conversation and want to leave. If your shoulders, hips and feet are squared with the person your talking with, you are fully engaged in the conversation at hand. Sometimes men stand at a 45-degree angle to each other as a sign of open yet non-threatening communication.

Behavior: Your words say, “Thank you,” yet your hand grabs the C paper from the teacher. Hmmm…which message is it? Unfortunately, the negative one wins out and the teacher sends you to the office. “But I said thank you,” you plead. We’ve all heard that actions speak louder than words. Here it is in action.

Does your intent match the messages you’re sending? A little bit of awareness goes a long way. Have fun learning more about your personal style of communication!